Starving Kelly

Movin'

2007-09-11T07:28:00.000-07:00

So as if you haven't figured it out already, I haven't had time or the energy or the desire...well really these are all just excuses. I just don't want to do it any more. At least for now. So I'm quitting this blog for a while.

Now don't think I still won't have things to say about starving or comments to make about the crazies at the gym, but I think I'll just post them on over at my main blog.

I hope you'll join me.

See you there!

Kellyology

Birds flyin high, you know how I feel...

2007-08-23T09:49:00.000-07:00

So a neighbor friend of mine joined my gym. To celebrate her first week at the gym we decided to take a Yoga class together. I hadn't been to Yoga in so long. I had a groin injury last year that took forever too heal, and it broke my Yoga habit. So today it was as if I was starting from scratch.

All of my balancing muscles...gone.

All of my limberness...gone.

All of my stamina...gone.

But, I still loved it anyway. You know why? There's that one pose. You know the pose. Where you lay on the floor, on your back. Your eyes are closed. You are only concentrating on breathing. Everything melts away. And you go into the pre-sleep state. And when you are finally told to open your eyes and you sit up, your body feels so relaxed, so fantastic, so easy.

All of your aches and pains...gone.

All of your tension...gone.

And your easy smile...it's back.

...well at least until the kids get home from school

Today is going to stink.

2007-08-21T05:47:00.000-07:00

I only have a second because I'm rushing to get the kids off to the bus stop, and then straight to the gym for me. Which brings me to my point...off to the gym for me! I haven't been in 10 days. They say that it only takes two week to lose everything you've gained at the gym, and I'm cutting it close! Today is going to stink. Wish me luck.

Oh...and the college kids are back at school today, so I'll have nothing to look at at the gym for distraction but myself. Today is really going to stink.

Oh...I'm back on the diet. I haven't gained anything, but I really didn't finish my goal. So...back on track today. Yeah, today is really, really going to stink.

How's it goin' for you?

Weekly Weigh-In - No change

2007-08-17T06:17:00.000-07:00

Haven't gained, haven't lost, haven't been trying.

Enough said!

Future MILF: Weekly Weigh-In

2007-08-03T07:05:00.000-07:00

Weight: 154.6...up .6

Whew! I was up 3.2. I guess the starvation worked. Now I just have to get off 4.6 before...what...next Friday? Oh lord help me! I think that's going to be a tough one. But I'm going to try, oh , and pray for a miracle!

Exercise: Running once with the girl (she's training for the next fun run and is so cute running her 1 mile of training!), and weights 2x.

Diet: Same old, same old except I'm off the booze until next Friday, especially considering it always adds 1 or 2 pounds to my girth.

I don't have must to say this week. I'm off to the gym! See you at next week's update!

Ouch my bum! and The Pep Talk

2007-08-01T08:24:00.000-07:00

Lunging squats are so evil. You don't realize their evil until the next day when you can't get out of bed, or sit down on the toilet, or can't make it upstairs to your office, or are afraid to sit down because once you do, you can't get back up again.

But the worst is when you start making your kids run errands for you around the house because the idea of getting up off of this chair...well it's just too much to fathom!

My bum hurts!

Do you feel my pain?

On another note:
I had to give myself a little pep-talk in the mirror today. I made the mistake of weighing, and I'm up some more. Yikes! So I had to give the pep talk... You know the one.

It's the one where you tell yourself it's OK. You can survive this. You can make it through the day without stuffing your face because your sad. You tell yourself to suck it up! Get over it! And get back on track! You will not let this defeat you! You will no let this defeat you! You WILL NOT let this defeat you!

And then you take a deep breath. Walk away from the mirror. And you feel powerful again.

At least through breakfast.

Lunch is up for grabs.

And dinner??? God help you make it through dinner.

We should abstain from violence, debauchery, evil deeds, sensual-attachment, hatred, anger and ego. ” Atharva Veda

2007-07-29T19:39:00.001-07:00

Yeah right!

So I took the weekend off. I drank wine, I ate cookies, and even had a patty-melt. I enjoyed everything but the patty melt. The whole time I was thinking, man...what is this going to do to me? And today I found out what a weekend of debauchery does to my body. It adds 3 pounds is what it does!

Holy Crap! That is so depressing.

So I have to go see my relatives in a couple of weeks. I was hoping to be in the 140's by then. But at 1 pound a week, that's not going to happen. Maybe I can try to get it to 2 pounds a week. That would be OK. I guess.

So OK, I'm going to be totally strict this week. And the next. And part of the next...

And then I'll be in a fun big city with lots of good restaurants.

And the debauchery can happen again!

Wooohooo!

What?

So I'll gain a few. The kids are back in school the week I get back. I can go kill myself at the gym 5 days a week then to get it off.

But for now, let the starvation begin.

Blogher '07

2007-07-26T10:15:00.000-07:00

But I'm taking the time off from blogging anyway!
See you Monday!

Thanks to Lotta for the button!

Desperation...

2007-07-25T13:02:00.000-07:00

Recently I've been reading a lot about people making fun of Alli, and the people who seem stupid enough to take it. And I have to say I wonder about those people. Do they know what it's like to do everything right and have nothing work? Do they know what it feels like to have people talk behind your back about how they think your full of crap about what your doing, for you'd be losing weight if you actually did what you said you did. Do they know what it's like when some people finally tell you to your face that they think you're "lying to yourself?" Do they know what it's like to see your body go through all sorts of changes that you can't explain and can't control? Do they know what it's like after all of that humiliation to be so afraid of going to the doctor for help because you can't take one more humiliating experience? Do they know how desperate you've become? That you would try a pill even though you are desperately afraid of putting anything in your body that's not natural...to the point where you don't even like to take an acetaminophen? But you try it anyway because you can't take the loss of control one more minute???? Do they know?

And do they know and make fun of these people anyway?

Wow.

That's pretty mean.

Here.

I made this badge for you.

MILF Weekly Weigh-In

2007-07-20T06:06:00.000-07:00

Weight: 154, Down .8.
Diet: Same but struggling to keep it that way. I've have been crazy starving this week! I don't know what the deal is. Maybe too many carbs? Who knows.
Exercise: Negatives at the gym 2x, Running once.

Fridays are a struggle for me. All week I weigh 153.something and Friday comes, and I'm always up. But Saturday, I'm back down to what I was during the week. I think my body is playing a little trick with me, but if this is some sort of motivation trick...I'm not interested!

On another note, Tina and I have been doing negatives at the gym lately. For those of you who don't know, negatives work your slow muscles instead of your quick muscles. Basically it's just like regular lifting only you release your lift really, really slowly. And you tend to have to lift a little lighter because it's a LOT harder.

The first time I heard about quick muscles and slow muscles was on some infomercial with the Walker, Texas Ranger guy. It was late, late at night. I had come home from a night out of fun and libations, and there was Chuck in his muscle bound glory demonstrating his latest workout gadget. And as it usually happens when I'm drunk I was fascinated by his infomercial. I vowed to try to work my slow muscles as well as the quick one's which at the time I wasn't working at all.

And as it usually happened, the drunk vow I made didn't make it to sobriety until last week when Tina said, "Let's try something different." Owwwwy ouch ouch ouch! Muscles that have never been sore before (like my back and shoulder muscles) became seriously painful. And muscles that are always sore after a workout (like my triceps) hit a new level of pain, the level where you can't even make yourself lift your arms. Yeah, last week was a seriously painful week.

But this week, things have improved. I'm still sore, but only mildly. It's amazing how quickly a body adapts to changes. I guess that's why they say that one needs to change up their workout often.

Anyway, how was your week?

I'd love to pass out some more awards....I'll be watching!

Bye-Bye 5!

2007-07-18T06:20:00.000-07:00

The last time I successfully lost weight I was in Weight Watcher's. When I was in Weight Watcher's, at the meetings they gave out awards for goals achieved. The first goal they gave an award for was the 5 pound goal. Now for some of us the first 5 pounds come off almost instantly. But for other's it came off slowly...oh, so, slowly! But either way when you hit that goal you would get your name announced, you would stand up in front of everybody, and you would gleefully accept your award which was usually something small like a bookmark or something. But you loved that bookmark for it represented something to you, something great that you had done for yourself.

So last week I hit my 5 pounds lost goal. But there was no reward given to me. And quite frankly, I missed it. So...I created my own!

Whew!

I feel better!

I think I'm going to spread the love. I'm going to send it on over to a gal who started the whole Future M.I.L.F. shabang. Now I know she's already lost like 25 pounds, but no-one gave her an award. So here you go Lotta! Here are your awards.

Wow! That's a lot! Makes you feel good no?

OK, now it's your turn, my readers. Feel free to copy the button and then...

pass it on!

Future MILF: Weekly Weigh-In

2007-07-13T07:10:00.000-07:00

Weight: 154.8--Down 1.4
Exercise: Absolutely near nothing. Well I am going to the gym this morning. But really, I'm too obsessed with my new hobby to be interested in a silly thing like exercise!
Diet: Same old, same old.

So finally I'm seeing the 4 again. See how boozin' it up can totally screw up your diet? Two weeks ago on a Tuesday I saw the 4. But then I had a beverage. OK, OK. I had a few beverages. And it's taken me how long to see the 4 again? 1 week and 1/2? Geez Louise! Lesson learned. Well almost...that glass of wine last night did taste mighty fine.

Well I better go and see what the kiddies are doing. They just did this little subversive maneuver past my office door. One did a quick run by. Then the other peeked in quickly and did a quick run by. Now I hear some pretty intense whispering going on....

Little Children! What are you doing??????

Warning: Gross Factor

2007-07-12T07:56:00.000-07:00

Diarrhea
thpbthpb thpbthpb
Diarrhea
thpbthpb thpbthpb

Some people think it's funny
But it's really red and runny

Diarrhea
thpbthpb thpbthpb
Diarrhea
thpbthpb thpbthpb

Yeah.

It's my fault really.

I just had to have those yummy dripping in buttery cinnamon/sugar bread sticks from our local pizza joint.

Yeah.

My fault.

(Hey! Don't say I didn't warn you! )

The dilema

2007-07-11T08:12:00.000-07:00

When I first started gaining weight I stopped buying clothes. I wouldn't let myself have anything new or nice until I got the weight off. But then the weight wouldn't come off. So I started buying clothes.

At first I would only buy the cheap one's. Then I got sick of that and started buying nicer things. I figured that if they weight wouldn't come off, then I should at least try to make myself look as good as possible.

So now I have some favorite's that I love. I put these clothes on, and I forget that I'm over-weight. Only when pictures are taken am I reminded.

But now I've started losing weight.

And last night to go out to dinner with my ladies I put on one of my favorite pair of pants.

They were too big! They were not dramatically too big, but they were big enough that I had to use a belt to cinch them in. And then I panicked, for I know that in 5 more pounds they'll be way to big. And I love these pants! Really love them!

Maybe I'll get them altered.

I knew I shouldn't have bought any clothes until I lost some more weight.

Save your money Big D.

5 more pounds and the shopping will begin!

Future MILF: Weekly Weigh-In - Update

2007-07-07T06:23:00.000-07:00

Weight - today - 3 days after alcohol - 155.6 which is what I was a week ago...exactly. So this week really, nothing lost, nothing gained. A little frustrating as Wednesday morning pre-alcohol I weight 154.2. Whatever. Back on track. I certainly won't be drinking tonight with the girlfriends.

Future MILF: Weekly Weigh-In - Alcohol

2007-07-06T06:11:00.000-07:00

Weight: 156.2
Exercise: Walking; Lifting weights; 1K Fun Run with the family
Diet: 1200-1400/under 20 g fat per meal

So why the gain when I was down earlier in the week? One word...alcohol. July 4th was a big party evening. I didn't so much eat too badly, but I did consume quite a bit of alcohol. I'm not too worried as it usually takes 3 fully days to sweat it all out of my system and for my weight to be back to normal on the scale. Usually it stands for about 1-2 pounds. We'll see if that holds true with my new crazy body that's doing it's own thing!

I'll be back tomorrow with another weigh-in! See you then!

One....singular sensation...every little step she takes.....One!

2007-07-02T11:48:00.000-07:00

I saw the 4! Woohoo...the four! Do you know how long it's been since I've seen a four on the scale? I know it's just ONE little number but it has been oh, so long. And that reminds me of a story from last week that I've forgotten to share.

At the doctor's office:

The aide as I'm checking out, "Do you work out?"

Me, "Yeah."

The aide, "I can tell. Nothing wiggles on you does it?"

Yeah.

Let that absorb.

Fantastic no?

So what if she could only see me from the waist up because of the tall counter....

I'm reminded of a song.

Here...I'll share it.

One singular sensation, every little step she takes
One thrilling combination, every move that she makes
One smile and suddenly nobody else will do
You know you'll never be lonely with you-know-who

One moment in her presence and you can forget the rest
For the girl is second best to none, son
Oooh! Sigh! Give her your attention
Do I really have to mention she's the one

Really, shouldn't we all sing this song to ourselves???

Go ahead.

Sing it.

You're the one!

Pill to make dieters 'feel full'

2007-06-29T10:39:00.001-07:00

Pill to make dieters 'feel full'

Great.

Now they just need a pill that makes you quit eating even though you know you're full.

Seriously.

When are they going to develop that?

MILF Weekly Weigh-In

2007-06-29T06:43:00.001-07:00

Weight: 155.6 - Down 1.2
Exercise: Gym 2x's avg. 45 minutes each time; Dancing - 1x - 3 hours
Food: 12-1400 calories/day; fat/meal no more than 19 grams

Last Saturday I dropped to 155.6. Yeah the day after the weigh in last Friday. I must have been holding on to some water weight or something. This week I was hoping to see a 4 in my weight. I haven't seen a 4 in so long! But if my pattern hold true I might see a 4 tomorrow morning. Wish me luck!

So far Alli really doesn't seem to have done anything more for me than weight watchers did. I pulled my old paper work from weight watchers, and so far I'm holding true to my pattern of weight loss almost directly to the number. It will be interesting to see what next week holds for me.

Well that's about all I have for this week. Not very exciting...but then again, neither is dieting!

Maybe I'll finally change my workout song for ya for some motivation....

2007-06-25T11:11:00.001-07:00

It's the M.I.L.F. thing right? Yeah, probably.

MILF Weekly Weigh-In: My little angry rant filled with profanity.

2007-06-22T07:27:00.000-07:00

Weight: 156.8 Down .6---WTF .6?????
Diet: 1200-1400 calories per day with less than 19.6 grams of fat per meal.
Workout: Gym 2x - 1 hour each and at home lifting 45 minutes 1x

OK the Alli experiment is over and I have to say one thing...what a pain in the ass. Not literally as some seem to have become obsessed with, but figuratively. I never had the shitting oil problem. Perhaps because I am 'um following the rules. You know, the basic dieting rules...low fat, balanced diet, etc. If you have the shit's I've decided it's because you're too fucking lazy to do it the right way and you're looking for an easy way out via this pill. You deserve the shits man. But I'm not bitter. No...not at all. You probably lost weight by I don't know, actually eating a vegetable! But me, I struggle--follow the rules--be oh so careful--and do everything anyone has ever told me to do, and I lose fucking .6 pounds! WTF!!!

I guess I'm supposed to be happy with .6 pounds. I guess it's better than nothing. And there were weeks on Weight Watcher's where I only lost .2 and .3 pounds. So I guess I did double my weight loss like Alli promised.

OK, OK, OK...I'll keep going. One more week at least. I was really hoping to average a pound a week, but whatever. Fucking .6 will have to do.

Look at this!

2007-06-20T08:40:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I was getting dressed in front of my mirror and I noticed this...

Yeah, it's my arm. But here let me help you...

See that? That's my shoulder muscle. And you can see it! But that's not all...

I have a bicep! It's not a big one. But it's there! See...can you see it?

I don't know what this muscle is but it's bigger isn't it?

I still need to work on this one. But I swear, it doesn't wiggle nearly as much.

What? You're not impressed? Well how about I show you this muscle?

Yeah. You're not messing with me now are ya?

Oh and hey...click on this so I can go to BlogHer '07 OK?

You don't want me to show your the previous shot again now do ya?

Monday, Monday

2007-06-18T07:34:00.000-07:00

So I'm sure everybody's wonderin'--did Kelly get the anal leakage from alli? That answer would be no. I already eat a pretty low-fat diet, so according to the warnings I really didn't need to worry. But that didn't stop me from being panicky the whole first day, Saturday. Saturday we had friends to our neighborhood pool for a cookout, and I brought my own meat to grill. Some little kid ate my low-fat dog, and I made the husband make me another one. He was already starting to clean up and said, "Can't you just eat a regular dog?" I shrilly replied, "No! I'm too paranoid about getting the shits!" He looked at me in a way that made me a little uncomfortable.

I guess if you're worried about getting the shits because of the diet you're on that's a bad sign. However, I've decided that since I've already spent the money on the pills, I'm going to ride this through to the end. We'll see what happens. At the very least I'll lose weight because I can't binge eat because my fear of the shits overrides my need to stuff my face with fat. Maybe that's why it works? I don't know.

BTW...Lotta has a good MILF post this week. So...go on over and read it.

And...if you haven't noticed my new workout music section check it out. I'm going to try to change it up often as the mood hits me. Enjoy!

Future MILF: Weekly Weigh-In

2007-06-15T07:03:00.000-07:00

Weight: 157.4.....DOWN 1.8! Woohoo!

Diet: 12-1400 caolories per day. However yesterday I ate something that I thought would keep me under my points, but it actually put me over....way over. I hit 2000! Yikes. Oh well, it's raining so it looks like pizza at the pool will be cancelled, so I'll make yesterday my free day. Dang it! I love free day. Especially when I know it's free!

So today I start the alli vs. Wulong experiment and switch to alli. Will keep you posted.

Working out: Lifting twice - 1 1/2 hours. Yeah...that's about it. It did do some gardening, and some hardcore housework that made me sweat. Does that count???lol

alli vs. the Wulong

2007-06-14T08:04:00.000-07:00

As you may remember, I've dropped my calories to 1200-1500 per day since Saturday. And I've been averaging about 13-1400 per day. And, I've been drinking my Wulong tea twice a day after 2 of my main meals. And so far I've lost one pound. Gee I hope I didn't just jinx this by telling you before Friday what I've lost.

Anyway, at about day three I got an advertisement in the mail for alli. To be more precise the cover on the pamphlet said "alli: join the revolution."

Ooooooooooooooo.

I like a good revolution.

So I did a little research. Here's what I found:

"Taken at meal-time, alli works by blocking about 25 per cent of the fat in the food a person eats. Because of the way it works, alli must be used in conjunction with a reduced-calorie, low-fat diet containing about 15 grams of fat per meal. The guides and information supplied in the alli package help the consumer to control the amount of fat in their meals, and to follow an appealing, reduced-calorie, low-fat diet. "

Now there can be some side-effects...

"Users should take a multivitamin once a day, at bedtime, because alli can reduce the absorption of some vitamins."

and

"Consuming a meal with too much fat, while taking alli , can result in bowel changes such as having an urgent need to use the bathroom. These changes, called treatment effects, generally occur in the first weeks of treatment, are not harmful, and can be managed by following the recommended diet with about 15 grams of fat per meal."

But my brochure made it seem less harsh with this simple picture...

OK...not eating too much fat. Hmmmmmm.... Isn't that what a diet is? I don't know. But I have to diet and take your pill? Really?

Anyway, I think this is what I'm going to do.

I'm going to have a little experiment.

I'll finish out my week with the diet and the Wulong (which is supposed to do the same thing). And starting this Saturday, I'll switch over to alli.

Now I know the first week is a little biased as you always lose the most the first week...but this isn't real science now is it?

Aren't you just excited to see which week causes me to lose more weight?

I am! I'd be excited to just lose another pound next week!lol

Who knew?

2007-06-12T07:28:00.000-07:00

Did you know that if you merely drop calories to lose weight you lose fat AND muscle? I didn't know that. I just read it on the manual that came with my new scale. That explains why the "experts" always want you to exercise while dieting. I always thought that the exercise was a suggestion...you know for your heart? For you have to exercise so excessively for it to burn the excessive calories you're eating so why not just eat less? I mean really. Who has time to exercise the amount that it would require to burn off that last candy bar? Really? Who?

No one. So now I read what I read in my manual. Oooooooohhhhhhhh! Light bulb moment. That's why!

They should just say that instead of suggesting that you exercise as part of a healthy life-style. They should say, "Hey! You! Doofas! Yeah you! If you starve yourself you will become weaker. And someday, your tiny little children will be stronger than you and don't you want to be able to beat them in an arm wrestling match until they're at least 14? I mean it's a self-respect thing yo!"

Yeah...that's what they should say.

Basal Metabolic Rate

2007-06-11T07:27:00.000-07:00

This weekend I discovered what Basal Metabolic Rate is. Basically it's the amount of calories you'd burn if you stayed in bed all day.

Bed....allll.....day.
Snorrrrrrrrrrrr........
Wha? Wha?
Oh Sorry. I was so distracted by the glorious image of bed all day.

Anyway. I found this calculator that calculates your BMR, tells you how many calories you need to maintain your weight and how many calories you need to eat if you want to lose.

So my BMR is 1475.64 as of this morning.
And my daily caloric intake with my activity level should be 2029.01 calories
And what I need to lose weight is 1529.01 to 1200 calories per day.

So, all of those months I was eating between 1600 and 1800 and I wasn't losing...well that is why! So for two days I aimed for 1200 calories per day and ended up between 1300 and 1400 calories. And this morning I stepped on the scale. Down one pound!

Now it could be the Wulong. But I've been drinking it for a week with no results.

I think it's the diet. We'll see.

Is it just me or is this stuff just fascinating?

Well I'm off to the gym to lift. Well I'm actually off to yell at my kids because I've told them THREE times to get dressed, and they're sitting in front of the TV like zombies because they think I haven't noticed.

So...I'm going to go kick some little kid butt...and then I'm off to the gym.

See you tomorrow!

Future MILF: Weekly Weigh-In - Starting Anew

2007-06-08T12:32:00.001-07:00

New Starting Weight: 159.2

My friend Tina says this is why she hates scales. Point two. What's that? Like point two is going to make any difference. When I was doing weight watchers sometimes all I would lose in a week was point 2. And it got me through the week. I think it's actually better if you're a slow loser like myself.

As long as you don't beat yourself up over a point 2 gain. Which really is the problem with weighing period.

Food: OK...I really can't keep up another blog. I haven't posted at the Munchorama in forever. I may take it down. Or maybe I'll leave it up for when the kids are back in school, and I have more time.

Overall the I did well with the food. Until today at lunch. I WAS STARVING! And I was weak. I had buttered white noodles with spinach and tofu.

BUTTERED....WHITE noodles.

Nice. I'll probably gain 5 pounds over the weekend.

Exercise: This week I was complaining to Tina that my biceps are so much weaker than the rest of my body. But then I walked by a trainer who was with a skinny in shape looking girl doing dips. I saw what she was doing and realized, I am so much tougher than I give myself credit for. I am a total bad ass compared to most of the women in here!

A long time ago I used to come home from a sports conditioning class, where we mostly did kick boxing, totally pumped up full of testosterone.

I used to say to my husband, "Wanna wrestle. I can take ya! Do ya? Do ya?"

Yeah.

He could always take me.

But now, now I'm a bad ass.

I think I'm going to go look for the husband. I can totally take 'im!

Tan fat IS better than white fat.

2007-06-06T17:18:00.001-07:00

Well I was right.

Tan fat is better than white fat.

And the pool is open, and I am now tan.

And I think I look good...or at least better.

Well at least I thought this way until I got my new scale today.

Yeah, I weigh the same as when I originally started.

Of course this perhaps is the first accurate scale I've had in my house in quite a while...;)

On the gym front:
I haven't talked about the gym in a while. So 3 weeks ago I took a week off from cardio because I just needed a break.

Then I went dancing...in heels...drunk.

Yeah, I sprained my ankle.

Commence the laugh-fest.

Done yet?

No?

OK...just a little more time...

So I took one more week off to heal.

Week 3: The kids both have camp at 9am, and the time causes me not to be able to go to spinning class. So YESTERDAY I finally made it to the gym for some cardio. I crammed it in between dropping off the boy at karate and picking him up 40 minutes later.

One thing I can say for having no time is that it causes to you haul ass on the elliptical.

3 miles in 24 minutes baby!

One other thing I have to say is that the college kids are home.

They have all joined my gym.

I've never seen more young hot guys preening around testosterzone.

It

is

fabulous!

Really.

You should come visit me.

I'll take you to the gym.

Unless you're a guy

And your straight.

Then I've got nothin' for ya.

Sorry.

Go to your own gym.

Oh...one last thing...

Don't worry.

The boobs are not back.

I'm still buff.

I can lift with a sprained ankle.

I'm still all pecks baby!

You know, if that's your thing.

Wulong, Oolong, Could it be wrong?

2007-06-04T13:49:00.000-07:00

I am constantly looking for new products to try to benefit my diet and recently have become aware of Wulong (oolong) tea. I have always loved tea, but have had to give it up because of my body's aversion to caffeine. But then I read this article about the tea. In it it states that "oolong tea has half the caffeine of green tea." I was starting to get excited that maybe I had finally found something I could drink. And then I read this...

"japanese women who consumed oolong tea for 6 weeks and saw a reduction in weight"

and this

"it involved 11 japanese women who consumed either water, green matcha tea, or oolong tea after a meal. the results were interesting. oolong tea appeared to increase energy expenditure by 10%, green tea by 4%, and water not at all. this means that you burn more fat when you drink oolong or green tea after a meal."

Whadiddy, wha, wha, wha???

Yeah...I'm totally in. So I ordered some.
After I ordered it I read this in the comments:

"I have been drinking oolong tea at least 4-6 cups per day during the past holiday season, with meal or anytime I want to eat snack... To my delight, the pant size is drop one whole size!"

Cross your fingers people!

I'll keep you updated.

Well as soon as my scale arrives.

Oh...and it tastes really good too. But I seem to be having the same sleep issues that I have when I drink caffeine. Maybe I'll stop drinking it by noon.

Unless I drop a whole pant size.

You know...I'm not completely crazy.

No really...

2007-06-03T20:09:00.001-07:00

People look at my oh so white son shivering at the pool and say,
"Little B is so skinny! Who did he get that from?"

"Me." I say, "No really, I used to look like that. Really. I did."

Broke down Kelly

2007-05-31T10:29:00.000-07:00

So I broke down.

I did it.

I admit it.

Broke.

Down.

I bought this.

It hasn't shipped yet.

What are you going to do with me?

A little help please.

2007-05-29T16:01:00.000-07:00

I'm trying something new. Well it's not new. It's old. But it's new this week. And the place you have to go to is new. So help me out, will ya?

I know some of you have offered in the past to help me with the food intake. So here I am, asking for help. I've set up a little on-line food journal. And if you feel so inclined hop on over, and let me have it!

I've been working since January to drop some pounds/sizes but I've lost nothing and have gotten bigger. And as we all know I work out...a lot.

So it must be the food.

Or my body has gone haywire.

I have a leeeeeetle doctor phobia, however, so I'm going with the food for now.

So...wanna help?

I'll take any advice. Though I do have some food allergies. But I'll post those as well over at Starving Kelly's Munchorama.

Thanks!

MILF Weekly Weigh-In

2007-05-25T06:55:00.001-07:00

I really should be kicked out of this group. I didn't give a crap what I weigh right now. All I know is that it's bathing suit season, and I'm prayin' for rain! Come on baby! Rain. Rain all summer long! Because Kelly's cellulite is fantastic right now, and I can only make excuses of having my period for a few more weeks now before the kids will get suspicious.

And they've made that stupid new rule about not being allowed to be intoxicated while at the pool any more, so really I don't know how I'm going to be able to delude myself into thinking for more than five minutes that I am the hottest Mommy in a bathing suit at the neighborhood pool this summer!

Rain baby! Rain.

Wait, let me look at the forecast...

TODAY	TONIGHT	SATURDAY	SATURDAY NIGHT	SUNDAY	SUNDAY NIGHT

Chance Of T-Storm	Chance Of T-Storm	Chance Of T-Storm	Chance Of T-Storm	Chance Of T-Storm	Chance Of T-Storm
Hi: 75°F	Lo: 61°F	Hi: 79°F	Lo: 61°F	Hi: 81°F	Lo: 65°F

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bathing Suit Hell

2007-05-24T14:03:00.000-07:00

So I've been feeling pretty good since I stopped weighing. And then I realized the neighborhood pool was opening this weekend. I know that I can't get into my suits from last year. So I thought, "Hey! There's a sale a Macy's with a coupon today. I'm going to go suit shopping."

I got a new suit.

In a size I never in my life dreamed I would ever get too.

I'm not eating tonight, and I'm not taking off the tags yet.

And I'm cutting my calories.

At 1600 a day, that's going to be hard.

So much for letting myself get the sushi with the cream cheese tomorrow night.

And so much for feeling good.

I'd feel really, really bad except this just came into my office...

And this...

And this...

A little bit of whine...

2007-05-23T09:56:00.000-07:00

Here is where I'm sore:

Vastus Medialus Muscle

Deltoid Muscle

Trapezius Muscle

Teres Major Muscle

Teres Minor Muscle

Semimembranosus Muscle

Biceps Femoris Muscle (long head)

Semimembranosus Muscle

Adductor Magnus Muscle

Questions?

Answers.

Now when is that next workout?

Photo by Chance Agrella

I am a total slacker.

2007-05-22T20:05:00.000-07:00

So I haven't been here since Friday.

And the neighborhood pool opens this Saturday, and I have to put on a suit, in public after a night of out-out. (Explanation here.)

And today was the first day I hit the gym since last, ummmmm, Thursday.

And today I ate Jr. Whopper AND a medium onion rings.

And while working out I kept burping up the Whopper, Blech!

And I almost puked while on the ab machine, almost puked Whopper and onion rings.

And I'm not sure if I'm going to go to the gym the rest of the week.

Well except Friday when I promised to meet Tina.

Why?

I am a total slacker.

And tanning is an easier solution.

For tan fat is better than white fat.

And again, I'm a total slacker.

Watcha gonna do about it?

Future MILF: Weekly Weigh-In

2007-05-18T06:18:00.000-07:00

Weight:???????

Workout:
Saturday--45 minutes spin class; 30 minutes family walk
Sunday--Nada
Monday--45 minutes spin class
Tuesday--1 hour weight training
Wednesday--Nada
Thursday--45 minutes weight training; 30 minutes elliptical
Friday--Nada

Diet: Before I want to talk about diet I want to talk about the scale. As you can see I got rid of my scale. It's the weirdest feeling. At first I was in a state of panic. I felt completely out of control. I even got on-line looking at scales. But now 6 days have past. And I haven't had one scale-induced bad mood.

For me it has been the worst feeling in the world to work so hard and show no difference on the scale. In fact I was starting to believe all of the naysayers out there that I was lying to myself. The paranoia had started to set in. I had images of myself in a hunger induced trance standing in the kitchen eating in the middle of the night like that one show they had on Dateline about sleep-eating or was it 20/20? I mean there was no logical explanation for me not to be losing weight, and it had to be my fault didn't it? Somehow?

But then I smashed up my scale.

And after the panic subsided a nice pattern kicked in. I've started obsessing less about the food going into my body. I'm eating only if I'm hungry. A couple of times this week I've even started to recognize when I'm full.

I seem to be eating to fuel my body, rather than eating to fill a food or diet quota. It's crazy! I don't know if I'd call it a breakthrough or not as I've only been scaleless for a week. And who knows if this will last. But it certainly made this week better! Once I even looked in the mirror at myself and smiled. What tha? When was the last time that happened?

Anyway,

Diet: Doin' good! Eatin' well! And feeling better.

Question for the MILF ladies: Care to join me???

Blogthings - Starving Kelly Style a.k.a. I skipped working out today and have nothing else to say.

2007-05-16T13:09:00.000-07:00

You Are Destined to Struggle With Your Weight

Like most people, you find it a little difficult to stay at at weight you're comfortable with.
If you change a few habits and make food less important, you may find the struggle hardly exists anymore.

Are You Destined To Be Overweight?

Dagnabit! But that's OK because...

Your Body Image is 32% Unhealthy, 68% Healthy

You're body image is quite healthy, though you're sometimes a little bit too hard on yourself.
Chances are you've got a rockin' body - so enjoy it!

How's Your Body Image?

And just in case you were wonderin'...

What Your Underwear Says About You

Your underwear is probably really, really old.

You're comfortable in your own skin - and don't care to impress anyone.

The Underwear Oracle

“Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.” Christopher Lasch

2007-05-15T06:52:00.000-07:00

What was Starving Kelly's favorite part of Mother's Day you ask?

Well shopping of course!

And most importantly getting new clothes to make her feel pretty.

See my new shirt?

Yeah, it was only 30% off.

So why did Starving Kelly break her "60% off minimum or she no buy it" rule?

Yeah, enough said.

Now we just have to get the booty to fall in suit.

Come on booty!

Think pre-children days.

Do it. Do it. DO IT!

Oh and if you were wondering...no I haven't lost any weight yet.

But my scale did die a sad death this weekend.

So I wouldn't know.

A lesson for Starving Kelly

2007-05-10T07:17:00.000-07:00

So a couple of friends of mine decided to try the hoodia pills, and before I researched taking hoodia, I agreed to split a bottle with them for a try. My understanding was that it was supposed to be used to affect your metabolism. And hey, I obviously am having some troubles there! So I got the bottle of pills and read..."appetite supressant."

OK...I don't overeat because I'm too hungry. I usually overeat because I'm bored. So here lies problem one. Anyway this caused me to stop and think a little, "What else don't I know about what I'm sticking into my body?"

So I did a lot a research. And guess what I found? Apparently a lot of hoodia pills don't actually contain the appropriate amount of hoodia necessary to produce any type of change. In fact one article I read only recommends 3 manufacturers of the hoodia pills period. That was quite a shock!

Thirdly the hoodia plant apparently is on the endangered species list, and manufacturers have to obtain a CITES certificates -- Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora. Many are not doing this. And does my selfish need to find an easy fix justify my helping extinguish a speciest of plant? I don't know. I think I need to think some more about this.

So what is the moral of my story? Remember Kelly, remember Kelly, remember Kelly...do not succumb to the easy.

There is no easy!

Damn.

You own, personal, Jesus....

2007-05-08T09:41:00.000-07:00

Hot Superman was back yesterday, and apparently the airconditioning in spinning class was not. Holy moly it was hotter than "Georgia asphalt!" After class was over I looked like I had just taken a shower. Hot Superman said to me as he gave me a high five, "Girl, way to get your sweat on!" I guess it's bad when the instructor feels the need to say something to you about your sweat.

Anyway, I'm not as enamored with Hot Superman. His class was a booger which is good. But he ruined one of my favorite songs. It happened when he announced that we were going to do some standing sprints to which we all whined, "Oh maaaaannnnnn!"

He then said, "Now, now ladies. Remember it's called a work out not an easy out!" Then he started the next song.

And yelled/sung with the music, "Reach out and touch faith!"

And 1/2 way through the song he said, "This is your marathon ladies. And you've just reached mile 26!"

And I was reminded of Oprah who said after she ran a marathon, "Once you get to that 26th mile, I don't care if you're religious or not, you'll see Jesus."

And I don't know if it was the music, or the fact that I had forgotten my inhaler, or the now ruined song, but I believe I did.

I think I saw Jesus. Or at least it was my "own, personal, Jesus!"

Weekly Weigh-In

2007-05-04T08:28:00.000-07:00

Weight: Nothing lost; nothing gained.

Exercise:
Saturday - 20 minutes walking
Sunday - 20 minutes walking
Monday - 45 minutes spinning; 2 hours heavy yard work
Tuesday - 45 minutes lifting
Wednesday - 45 minutes spinning
Thursday - Rest
Friday - 1 hour lifting

Diet: Started Monday on crappy low-carb B.S. Well actually I started last week, but ended up cheating every day until Monday. What can I say? Low-carb is really, really, really hard.

Anyway, nothing lost and nothing gained but a new t-shirt! My husband is absolutely mortified at the idea of me wearing this shirt out of the house. And being in the crazy no sugar state of mind that I'm in, I'm thinking, "What's more out of the house than a few pictures on the internet? Right?"

But the pictures were boring. So I started messing with the colors. I tried the green. Kind of gross looking I think. Then I went for the blue, because I'm so blue about missing my sugar. (Yeah, yeah, yeah...bad joke. I know. My brains all fried with no sugar, seeeeeeee?) I don't mind that one. But the daughter insists that the pink is the very best, you know because she's 5.

Anyway, after 3 experiments I got bored again. Why? Because I have the attention span of a nat, and no sugar really isn't helping. Can I bitch more about getting no sugar?

Why yes, yes I can!

I think I'm going to give the low-carb experience, much to my family's chagrin, one more week. I’m just that kind of crazy right now. So be prepared for the foggy, the grumpy, and the sad. And of course be prepared for more bitching.

Of course pink is really cheery. Maybe my daughter is right. Pink might be the best color for helping me right now.

The Introduction of Hot Superman

2007-05-01T07:15:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I drug myself to spinning class, not motivated at all. While I was warming up, in walked this HUGE, like pro-football player huge, hot guy with a Superman t-shirt. As he walked in all of the regulars groaned. I look around and said, “What, what?”

One lady said, “you’ll see…”

I did see. Oh did I see. He completely and totally kicked my ass. And 30 minutes in I was negotiating with myself, “If you can finish the whole class doing what he says exactly, you don’t have to spin tomorrow.”

Then he started in with the standing sprints, and I thought, “If you can just make it ½ way through these sprints, you don’t have to spin tomorrow.”

And then after 6 sets of jumps, he started with a three minute sitting ride where we had to crank up the tension, over, and over, and over again. As my legs were screaming I thought, “If you can just keep moving until the end of class, you don’t have to spin tomorrow.”

And then we finished. And we stretched. And the high kicked in. And I thought, “I’m totally doing this again tomorrow.”

Then I went home, worked in the yard, and as I was driving my daughter home from school, my muscles started tightening up. I forced myself to finish my yard work before the storm started, and after I sat down in my living room huffing and puffing I realized, “I can’t get up. If I get up it will hurt, badly. I really just can’t move. I should spin tomorrow to work this out.”

Then last night I woke up with the beginning of a leg cramp. I got up and stretched out. And as I went back to bed I thought, “Forget that. I’m totally NOT going to spin tomorrow.”

Though I will miss Hot Superman. I wish he weren’t only a sub. I’d let him kick my ass any day!

One Day Blog Silence

2007-04-29T19:00:00.000-07:00

There has been a lot of criticism for those choosing to be silent tomorrow, April 30th. And I agree, sometimes silence isn't the healthiest of ways of dealing with one's sorrow. However, I also believe that some talk too much. And perhaps if we in our busy lives would sit and be silent, and remember all who suffer in this world, we might be kinder to each other and ourselves. And for that reason I am choosing to be silent tomorrow.

Join me or not. The choice is yours. And I’m certainly not going to choose for you.

Weekly Weigh-In--i.e. one really boring post

2007-04-27T07:24:00.000-07:00

Weight: I don't know. I'm not weighing in today. The odds are good that I didn't lose, and I don't want to be in a bad mood for the rest of the weekend.

Exercise:
Saturday--Heavy yard work-2 hours
Sunday--Nothing
Monday--30 minutes cardio; 1 hour weights
Tuesday--45 minutes Spinning class
Wednesday--1 hour weights
Thursday--Nothing
Friday--Haven't decided. I probably need to do cardio again. But I also need to work in the yard.

Food: Did fine until yesterday. Had a bad food day. I did the low-carb thing and totally brokedown and ate some tatertots. They were yummy. And they were worth it. I'm back on track today. I'm boiling some eggs right now.

Well that's all for this week. I don't really have anything inspirational to say.

Have a good weekend!

Step One: We admitted we were powerless over our addiction...

2007-04-25T11:07:00.000-07:00

I've decided that I've gotten myself on a bad sugar trend. I'm keeping the sugar consumption within my calories, but I'm starting to get the cravings. Thoughts like, "I could have this candy bar and skip lunch..." are running through my head as I stand in line at the grocery store. It started back on the weekend where I finished off my son's b-day cupcakes in one day. They were fantastic, and I ate nothing else the rest of the day in a pure panic. I haven't had a repeat of that fateful day since, but the craving to do so is still there. How long can the willpower possibly last?

So, starting today I going for something drastic. I'm getting rid of the sugar. Well actually, I'm getting rid of all of the grains and the sugar. I'm only doing it for a few days. I'm not a crazy woman! I'm hoping that getting rid of these foods will only have to last a few days to get rid of the cravings. I'm already not thinking clearly, and I'm deathly afraid of slipping tonight once the kids are in bed, and I get bored.

I sure do love my evening yogurt.

Mmmmmmm..................Yogurt......................mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

And right now? I'm so twitchy. I can't stop thinking of those yummy fiber one bars that are in my pantry.

Mmmmmmmm..... chocolate, peanut butter.....mmmmmmmmm.

Stop!

Can you believe I'm only 1/2 through day one?

I don't know how you South Beachers make it through two whole weeks of this nonsense!

I'm going to the gym.

We're not so far apart, you and I

2007-04-23T17:09:00.000-07:00

Sunday I had quite a drive to get to my son's soccer matches, and we were listening to the BBC. During the entire ride there, there was a discussion about Mauritania and it's "wife-fattening" farm. It was a fascinating set of interviews.

Apparently in Mauritania the woman are expected to be fat. Men won't marry a woman unless she is exceptionally fat, and girls from a very young age are force fed by their female relatives. They are generally sat down and stuffed to the point of throwing up, and if they do, they are sometimes forced to eat the throw up. There is one area where young girls are forced to drink milk and cream until their bellies are rotund. At that point a hole is dug in the ground, and they are forced to lie down with their bellies in the hole. This whole process is done to promote stretch marks, a very significant sign of beauty Mauritania.

The fashion of being fat and having a significant amount of stretch marks has become a huge health problem for the women of Mauritania. Doctors try to explain to their patients that this type of obesity is terribly unhealthy, but they are met with suspicion as in Mauritania a skinny woman is suspected to be unwell because of the vast amount of Aid’s patients that exist in their area. In fact there is a new population of these doctors' patients who have begun taking animal steroids to promote quick weight gain and thus stretch marks.

Recently, however, women and men of Mauritania have begun to value a healthier lifestyle. A small number have begun to exercise and size themselves down to a size 12, a very small size for this country. I got the impression, however, that although some men, ironically who are supposed to be thin and muscular themselves (the opposite of their women), may find thinner women attractive, this viewpoint is viewed as an oddity.

So what is my point in telling you all about this news story? The whole time I was listening I couldn't help but think, take out fat and put in skinny and you'd have a whole different country. Perhaps ours?

Read it!

2007-04-23T09:43:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while you read something that deserves it's own little mention. This is that read.

You're welcome.

Photo courtesy of alykat

"Friend"

2007-04-23T06:17:00.000-07:00

This weekend I went to dinner at a friend's house. She had invited other friends. One our other friends has started to workout at well. And that "friend" has lost about 17 pounds, which is awesome, really awesome.

So just last week said "friend" started journaling about his food intake. Because of his journaling he is becoming really aware of how his food intake affects his weight. He was asking for tips on eating, and we were all throwing in our two cents. I said something. I don't remember what my tip was, but I was raised by a nutrition Nazi so I know it was brilliant.

He replied with, "I don't know why I should listen to you. You've lost nothing!"

Yeah, he's been moved to the "friend" category. After my struggles with this weight thing, friends without the quotes know better to say stuff like that to my face, even if they are thinking it!

Weekly Weigh-In

2007-04-20T07:21:00.000-07:00

Weight: Same

Exercise:
Saturday--Nothing
Sunday--30 minute walk around neighborhood
Monday--45 minutes spinning class
Tuesday--45 minutes spinning class; 1 hour yoga/pilates class
Wednesday--1 hour weight training
Thursday--30 minutes elliptical; spinning
Friday--1 hour weight training

Diet: No cheating all week--Yay me (a lot of good it did me)

So I'll say it again. I'm sick of struggling for a lot of nothing. Honestly I can't add any more exercise. I don't have time. And haven't a clue about the diet. I'm doing the diet that got off the 3 pounds initially. Really, with some cheating the 3rd week, I haven't gone off of it. So what the hell???

I think I'm going to be jealous of all you ladies who've lost. So bear with me, I'll try to be kind but I'm really frustrated. And don't tell me I'm building muscle. I've been building muscle for almost 4 MONTHS now. AND I'M NOT SHRINKING!!! It's not even about the weight any more. It's about the clothes. When am I going to drop back down the the size I was before I went off of the pill? And don't tell me perhaps I'm at the smallest I'm going to be. I'm not even trying to get to HS size or college size or even pre-baby size. I'm trying to get to the size I was one and now a 1/2 years ago. I was happy at that size. I wasn't skinny then. I had the rolls. But I felt good in my skin. And that's all I'm asking for. Is that too much?

And you know what's frustrating? I think I've been accused by about everyone that I'm lying about what I'm doing. For my friends who are doing a part of what I'm doing are getting smaller. I think that's the worst part. And I've about had it.

Well that's enough of that pitty party.

See my forced smile?

How are you?

How's Your Body Image?

2007-04-19T05:49:00.000-07:00

I took this test yesterday as I had writer's block and was trying to stimulate the brain. But as you can tell (if you followed the link), I wasn't too successful. So sorry guys; you are just going to have to suffer through my ramblings! And while you're suffering...here's a little quiz. Enjoy!

Your Body Image is 32% Unhealthy, 68% Healthy

You're body image is quite healthy, though you're sometimes a little bit too hard on yourself.
Chances are you've got a rockin' body - so enjoy it!

How's Your Body Image?

Oh...and since I've got writer's block, the rest of my post is over here. You can do it. Follow the link. There you go. No? You're still here. OK. Take the little mousy and make the arrow move. Got that? OK. Now move the arrow to the underlined word "here." Got that? OK. Now push the left button on your mouse. Yay you!

Wait.

You're still here.

I can't help you.

No really.

I can't help you.

Don't cry.

Maybe you should go to the gym instead.

You're good at that.

Don't cry.

Now see I feel bad.

I, I have to go.

Goodbye.

I said...Goodbye!

2007-04-18T08:12:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I did the spinning class again. And the teacher was awesome. I just have to say one thing...hey Thursday teacher...YOU SUCK! Quit already.

So about spinning. My patootee...oweeee! But I do have to say, "I'm sorry honey, not tonight. Spinning class was too hard," is a much better excuse than the headache one. Seriously. I think if anyone went anywhere near that part of my anatomy right now I'd have to hurt them. Seriously. I think I'm bruised.

So yesterday after class I was all hopped up on adrenaline, and when the teacher suggested we all take the next class, yoga/pilates, I thought, "Cool!"

Yeah.

Not so cool.

The class focused on legs.

LEGS!!!!

And the legs are pissed today. But I do have to admit the class wasn't a total waste. I got a good nap in the last three minutes of class. At least I think I was sleeping. I sure did jump when the teacher started talking after 3 minutes of pure silence and mellow yoga music.

I wonder if I snored.

Anyway, I have been starving lately. So I have a question. Are most of you crazy hungry the day of an intense workout? How about the day after? No? Not the day after?

Maybe it's stress.

Well that's all for now. My daughter has come into my office and said, Mom, "You must feed me now!!!! Palease! I'm SERIOUS!"

I have got to stop blogging in the morning and save it for when she's at school.

I am so sick of struggling!!!!

2007-04-17T06:41:00.000-07:00

So this weekend I got sick. I got sick because I took care of a sick child last week. And I got sick. And I still had to take care of children, and a man, and a birthday party. So I drugged myself up and went after it. But what happens to me when I'm sick is that I tend to have less willpower. In fact I tend to completely revert to my old eating habits. So at the grocery store Friday when I was getting the treat for my son's class, I bought my daughter and I our own cookies. And we ate them. Then on Saturday when the party was done, and I could finally collapse, rather than finding the energy to cook myself something healthy, I dove into the left over cupcakes from the party. And Sunday rather than cooking a healthy dinner for the family, I said, "Screw it! I am so sick of struggling, and I order pizza!"

And Monday I weighed.

Up three pounds.

Son of a......

Can I say it again? I am so sick of struggling. I gained the 3 pounds it took me one month of nitpicking and exercising to exhaustion to get off. I AM SO SICK OF STRUGGLING!!!

Anyway, had to get that one gripe in. I'm off to my spinning class. I went yesterday and my pattooteee really hurts. But boy does that class burn it off. I'm hoping it will burn it off better than the other cardio I was doing. You know why?

I AM SO SICK OF STRUGGLING!!!!!!!

Weekly Weigh-In

2007-04-13T06:21:00.000-07:00

So it’s Friday. Feeling MILF like ladies? My asthma really bugging me today so not so much for me. Can I say it again? Stupid Oklahoma! But on the business at hand.

Weight: Lost one pound. Yeah baby! Did fine on the eating. Did have a couple of days this week where I forgot to eat a meal. What’s that about? I always laughed at people who said they forgot to eat. Huh? Forget to eat? Who does that? Apparently I do now.

Workout:
--Saturday: Never ending vigorous housekeeping and climbing up and down a ladder painting. I’m counting this as exercise because when I fell into bed that night, I was exhausted! Whatcha going to do about it?
--Sunday: Nada
--Monday: 40 minutes(4 ½ miles) elliptical; 1 hour lifting
--Tuesday: Nada
--Wednesday: 35 minutes (3 ½ miles) elliptical; 1 hour lifting
--Thursday: 45 minutes spinning class
--Friday: Nada
Not a bad week.

On another note...

Last night I watched Work Out on Bravo. On it they seemed to be focusing a lot on the story of Doug Blasdell, one of the trainers. He turned 44 on the show, and the show ended by his boss announcing that he had been hospitalized for the flu and dehydration, which had caused kidney failure. I went online to see what had happened and come to find out he later died in January of 2007.

This story line about this man is just shocking to me. He seemed to be very healthy, and he most certainly looked so. He had a positive attitude about life and seemed to have a really healthy, mature, and calm attitude about his life, especially concerning the choices he’s made and the experiences he’d had. And if the flu could eventually take down a man like that…well it really makes you think now doesn’t it?

For me it makes me realize how little control one actually has over one’s own life. You can be healthy physically. You can be healthy spiritually. You can be healthy emotionally. And the flu can still take you down. I guess the one thing that can comfort you when you discover this fact is that you did live your life well, so that when something unexpected takes you down, there will be peace.

Bwa hahahaha...cough, hack...ha!

2007-04-12T08:25:00.000-07:00

I just finished spinning class. I swear that class kicks my butt every time! It was a little rough at the beginning today as I've been having asthma and allergy issues (stupid Oklahoma). Normally it takes me 5-10 minutes to warm up, but today it took a good 15 before I was breathing well.

Oh, by the way. Have I told you about our funny little 20-something instructor? She cracks us up every time Tina and I go. Well we've only gone twice, but both times she cracked us up! Here are some of her best...

Story 1:
There are two guys in the class that are obviously not in their 20's, 30's, or even 40's. Little Instructor Girl says during the cool down, "So J****. Tell me about your friend, how old is he?"

J*** reluctantly responds, "62 and I'm 60."

Little Instructor Girl, "Wow! Look at those legs ladies. I hope when I'm that old I can still get after it. Let that be an example to you! Wow! 64!"

J***, "62."

Me and Tina, "Bwa hahahaha!"

Story 2:
Little Instructor Girl, "OK ladies, let's take it down a bit. Let's check our heart rate." She puts her fingers on her neck to check her pulse. "Wow! That's high."

Me and Tina (well mostly Tina...I'm sucking too much wind to laugh), "Bwa hahahaha!"

I guess these examples just prove Tina's, a former trainer, theory, "You don't have to be smart to work at the gym."

Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?

2007-04-09T15:14:00.000-07:00

Especially after 4 1/2 miles on the elliptical machine with a 1 hour weight lifting routine right in the middle. Yeah baby,

I.....AM.....HAWT!!!!!

Question

2007-04-09T14:58:00.000-07:00

So concerning my 120 calorie snack that I get every day, does Easter candy count? I hope so because it's just so darn yummy!

Future MILF: Weekly Weigh-In

2007-04-06T06:40:00.000-07:00

Weight: Same as last week. Did OK with the diet. Well there was that one day where I finished off Big D's b-day cookies. But you know, whatever!;)

Exercise: Monday 45 minutes cardio; 1 hour weights; Tuesday-Off; Wednesday-Chloe Sick; Thursday-Chloe Sick; Friday-45 minutes weights - 30 minutes cardio

Yeah - This week I sucked at working out. I could have gotten up early before Big D left for work and made it to the gym on Wednesday or Thursday. But I didn't. And I'd like to say that I'll make it up this weekend. But I probably won't; I've got too much to do this weekend.

Anyway, I read this good quote this morning:
Try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways.: Samuel McChord Crothers

This was definitely not a striving for perfection week. But it wasn't a total failure either. Instead I think I'll just chock this one up to the break-even gods.

How did you do?

Future MILF: Weekly Weigh-In

2007-03-30T06:47:00.000-07:00

Weight: Well I'm a sucker and I did weigh in...down a pound. Which only takes me to being within one pound of where I was before my vacation. So I guess technically, I gained one pound on vacation? I don't know. I'm going with that.

Exercise:
Saturday: Lifted 45 minutes
Monday: Heavy lifting 1 hour; 20 minutes cardio on bike
Tuesday: Yoga/Pilates class that makes you sweat 1 hour
Wednesday - Heavy, heavy lifting 1 1/2 hours
Thursday - Spinning Class - 45 minutes (my butt still hurts).
I still need to get in one more cardio. I'm either going to go to spinning class Saturday morning at 8 or the elliptical today or tomorrow for 30 minutes. We'll see...

Diet: I started out strong with my new diet but Wednesday I had 2 pieces of thin-crusted cheese pizza and yesterday I had sushi (not really so bad...but I did have the ice dessert that night and sushi's not on the diet!). And tonight da husband and I are going out with friends for...sushi, again! I don't care. I love sushi!

In preparation for dinner I did a little research. The popular California Roll is about 270 calories. I had another roll called a Keaton and when you add the cream cheese factor to this my guess would be that it was about 370-400 calories. Anything with fried fish in it you can assume 500-600 calories per role. So tonight I think I'll order the New York (just like California only it's shrimp instead of crab), some edamame at 160 calories and maybe some Miso soup at 85 calories. Or maybe I'll have a cucumber at 136 calories or avocado roll at 140 calories...I don't know, I don't know! I'm getting hungry! How about you?

This rambling about what I'm going to eat for dinner during the breakfast hour reminds me of my family. There are many of us in my family who get crazy hungry right before each meal. We're grumpy, sullen, and not pleasant. But we will talk about food pleasantly as if we're reviewing a great piece of art. My Dad, who is one of the crazy, used to joke after one of these food discussions, "I think we are all fat people just dying to get out!"

Well Dad, I'm out!

But I'm trying to go back in. Wish me luck!

Spin this New Flirty Receptionist Guy!

2007-03-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

So finally Tina talked me into going to a spinning class. Actually it was my idea, and she prevented me from chickening out. Chickening out? I was terrified. I completely did not sleep well last night thinking about it. And about until 1/2 through the class I was not enjoying it.

But that's one thing I can say about the spinning class. About 1/2 through you get the adrenaline buzz. I liked it, and quite frankly I haven't gotten the buzz in a long time. I think I've gotten too used to what I've been doing.

Long story short, I ended up really enjoying the class even though I was completely drenched in sweat. And we all know, I do not like to sweat!

And since I'm talking about the gym, we've gotten a replacement guy for the Flirty Receptionist Guy. He, however, doesn't hold a candle to the old one. Yesterday when Tina and I were lifting they were playing this hideous teen-age techno music. Not the good techno music with the heavy guitar rift, but the kind that only 13-year-old teen-age girls like. When Tina complained to the girl at the front desk she turned to the new guy and said, "See...nobody likes that music!"
He replied, "But that's what all the gyms are playing."

Oh New Flirty Receptionist Guy, you are sorely mistaken. When you are working out, I don't care who you are, you need a heavy guitar rift to bring out the testosterone in testosterzone and get you going. Everybody knows that. I think it's time for you to go.

Next!

On the diet front I was doing really well until last night. It was 6pm, I was starving, and my son said to me, "Can we order pizza?"

"Why yes my boy, we can!"

I was 1/2 through my 2nd piece of cheese thin-crusted pizza, my favorite kind, and I thought...wait a minute. What am I doing? I just blew it.

Oh well, I was back on track this morning.

Baby steps.

Oh and by the way, son you are off the favorite list.

I am the skinny, buff girl!

2007-03-28T07:14:00.000-07:00

I love yoga. I love the stretching, pulling, calm music, and peace. I love how I feel before in anticipation of it, during the stretching of it, and the after when I feel like a tall skinny woman.

The problem with yoga, however, really isn't the problem with yoga. It's where I take yoga. The room is filled with mirrors. Big, huge, awful mirrors!

Every once in a while I'm really in the zone I catch a glimpse of myself. I am genuinely shocked and frightened at the same time.

"Who is that fat girl trying to do that strength pose? ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.... Wait. That's me! Oh lord! Is that what I look like? OK...close your eyes. Don't look at her. Feel the stretch. The big girl does not exist. The big girl does not exist. The big girl does not exist. You are the skinny buff girl that's in front of her. Yes you are. The skinny buff girl. Yes you are! Do you feel the stretch? Yeah, take that fat girl! I'm not you! I'm the skinny buff girl."

What? I know I'm not the only one!

Perhaps if I believe it enough, it will be true.

Photo by kk+'s photos

I'm starving even in my dreams!

2007-03-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

You know you're on a diet when...

You dream about the dessert section of an Asian buffet and instead of the usual almond cookies, little donuts, pudding, and fruit, there are warm brownies, apple pies, and strawberry shortcakes with real whipped cream. And just before you can eat it all up...you wake up.

Rambling about being bored, eating, and such

2007-03-26T07:34:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to cram in a quickie before I have to leave this morning. No...that's not what I'm talking about. Geez...get your head out of the gutter people!

Anyway, I feel totally rejuvinated after my week off of the plan. I was really getting burned out and quite frankly I was totally not doing well in the eating front. I think I was eating OK, but I was not tracking anything so who really knows.

While I was gone I went back in time to the girl who was naturally skinny and lived life as such. It was such a relief not to think about food and dieting all of the time, and to be so busy that I didn't really eat out of boredom.

I think that's my big problem. I have plenty of stuff to do, but my brain is not busy. And I really don't know how to solve this problem. I've filled my time with bookclub, blogging, dinner club, coffee hours, and the gym. But I'm still really unsatisfied. I've thought of going back to work, but my husbands schedule is so insane that I would get no support. My workload would become equivalent to that of all of you single Mom's out there. And why would I deliberately go there? I'm going to at least wait for Big D to get sick of me or I sick of him before I get myself into that situation.

Besides if I'm as busy as I am now and am still unsatisfied, is it really because I'm not stimulated from lack of working outside of the home? Or is it because nothing will satisfy me? And why is that? I don't know. If I knew my problem would be solved.

So as you can see, I still have the problem with feeling unfulfilled and bored and obsessing over food because of it. I guess I need to still think and write about it some more.

Suffer along with me will you?

Any of you out there with a similar problem?

Today I weighed...

2007-03-24T11:11:00.000-07:00

I know it's not Friday, but I weighed. And....drum roll...I gained 4 pounds.

When I weighed my husband was standing right next to me. I said to him, "I gained 4 pounds. How much did you gain?"

Da husband, "1 pound."

Me, "You suck."

pause...

Me, "I guess that's not very supportive. Good job Big D!"

Da husband not looking up from the magazine he's reading, "Yeah, that's not very supportive."

pause...

Me under my breath, "You still suck."

Psycho song sends me to the wine, and yet I still stay in my food budget!

2007-03-23T08:37:00.000-07:00

Well I'm back. And I'm too scared to get on the scale. That's a good thing right? To not get on the scale? I'm going with it anyway. I don't think I did too badly. We managed to find some healthy options while at Epcot the first day. But having a $300/family food day we decided we'd have to find some cheaper street vendors that served healthier food.

OK.

You can stop laughing now.

We were unsuccessful. I don't think I had one fruit, vegetable, or fiber item that entire day. Well unless you can count grease as fiber. But we did have an $80/family food day that day.

So after that crazy day, we reached a happy compromise at the $200 food days. We got some vegetables and fruit. We ate non-fried food. But we still got our beer.

What? You didn't know beer was served at Disney World? Why yes it is. Well not at the Magic Kingdom, ummm or at Animal Kingdom. But at Epcot...yeah baby, they serve the beer!

Oh and I forget this every time I go back to Oklahoma. But did you know you could buy tiny little bottles of wine that have only 1 or 2 glasses in them? I love those! And conveniently the little shop in our hotel had these yummy little bottles waiting for me when I came home not being able to get "It's a Small World" out of my head. (My God, how do the people who work that ride not go completely insane? It's like a song out of a bad horror movie. But my 5-year-old loved it.)

On the exercise front, I did go to the gym to lift...once. What can I say I was entirely too tired to get up earlier than 6am any day except one. (Yes. We got up at 6am every day. We had a plan...see?) Hopefully being on my feet from 7am until 6pm everyday was enough cardio to do it for me. We'll see.

...if I ever get the nerve to hit the scale again.

I'm out of here!!!

2007-03-15T13:58:00.000-07:00

I won't be getting on the computer for a while because I'm going to...

Wait for it.............................

Disney World!

And that means I won't be dieting. Wa.ha.ha.ha.haa......

I'll probably get in my cardio with the crazy amount of walking I'll be doing.

But I'm definitely not dieting! Can you feel my excitement. I can't wait to eat!!! Or is that a little sad that the most exciting thing about this trip is the fact that I'm not dieting? Oh well. That's OK because...

I'm not dieting!!!!

See you when I get back!

In honor of the passing of the Flirty Receptionist Guy

2007-03-14T19:34:00.000-07:00

Every time Tina and I see this commercial we die laughing because this guy looks and acts exactly like our Flirty Receptionist Guy, except with less hair. So in honor of him leaving...

So why a picture of Daniel Craig?

2007-03-14T07:49:00.000-07:00

Because my cute flirty receptionist guy quit! Yes, all of the ladies at my gym are very sad. I can only hope they can find someone to fill his pants...errrrr...shoes. Anyway the picture is supposed to fill in until we can get a new live body to look at while I'm suffering through the elliptical machine.

I really have nothing more to say other than that. I'm still starving, still exercising like a machine. Oh, that reminds me...

Tina and I got the bright idea last Friday to add 90 pounds to the leg press machine. Well actually we were discussing it, and flirty reception guy came up to us hearing our conversation and said in his cute southern dumb jock accent, "You girls can do it. You're tough!"

And we replied with high pitched voices like two dumb little girls who had never talked to a boy before, "OK..."

Neither one of us could walk, well, for 2 days. Monday, however, was day 3. So I decided to do it again. And by Tuesday...no pain! I guess that's progress. Now if I can just get my shoulders to stop hurting.

Any tips flirty reception guy? Wait! You're gone! Waaaaaaaaaaaa!

Daniel?

Wordless Wednesday

2007-03-14T07:43:00.000-07:00

{For more great Wordless Wednesday photos go to 5 Minutes for Mom}

Future MILF: Weekly Weigh-In Why?

2007-03-09T07:13:00.000-08:00

This week has been a rough week filled with illness and missing spouses and messed up cars and crazy children. And ironically my scale has reflected this.

Weight loss: down 2 + up 2 + up2 + down 2= same weight.

Really ladies. Why are we weighing?

On the gym front I came to the realization the one day I was there. I'm still invisible. Pay attention to, ladies, the next time you're with a hot skinny friend, and people come up to the both of you to talk. Someday, you will notice that they don't even look at you when you respond to a question they've asked. They only listen to and look at your hot friend. And it's not just limited to the young dumb jocks...apparently creepy old ladies have this issue to. And then you realize that you're the "friend" they have to be nice to in order to get to talk to your hot friend. Talk about feeling degraded. And it occurs to you...you have become invisible.

I tell you as someone who has only in the past year become invisible...it's the creepiest feeling. It makes me glad that when I was not "the invisible girl" I used and abused my power for the good of all of my friends and myself. Memories of past power seem to be the thing that keeps me going during these new uncomfortable experiences.

Remember the time I stole your beer while you were looking right at me??? Yeah, that was for future me.

Remember the time I stole your cigarettes for a girlfriend while you were looking right at me??? Yeah, that was also for future me.

Remember the time I got you to help me move or help me with my car or help me with a home repair??? Yeah, those were definitely for future invisible me you son of a b*tch!

No, I'm not bitter. Well just a little maybe. Maybe that's why I was so aggressive in my last post.

And looking back over my past abuses I think, maybe I've given myself some bad karma.

Something to ponder anyway.

On the food front I discovered a new tasty snack:

Love them! It has only 50 calories a bag/no fat. For someone who is too lazy to make cinnamon apple chips themselves this is a great alternative. And if you need a crunchy something' with a sandwich, this would be a great alternative to very fatty and nutritional pointless chips. Finally, looking for something for a kid’s lunch? These would be a perfect addition. My only complaint is I really have to eat two bags to get satisfaction as each bag only contains 0.5 oz. I'd love to find these in bigger portions.

Well that's all for this week. I'm off to the gym ~~to be ignored~~ to work out. It's going to hurt. But I'll probably feel better afterwards...maybe.

Bring it be-atch!

2007-03-07T13:15:00.000-08:00

Remember when I was excited about people coming up to me at the gym and talking to me? Now I just want them to shut the hell up and let me finish!!!

Or maybe I'm just getting bitter about people losing 5.5 pounds in ONE WEEK! You cocksuckers!

Oh and I broke down. I weighed. Thank goodness it was a loss. I think I would have thrown the scale out of the window.

Man why am I so grumpy! Oh yeah...

I'm hungry and every muscle in my body hurts.

Anybody up for a throw down? I've got some pent up energy I need to burn...

Come on...

BRING IT!

How is this news?

2007-03-06T19:44:00.000-08:00

Isn't this article just common sense? Uh...yeah. Fat is bad for your health, and ummm yeah, it's going to cost the healthcare industry more. Uh...yeah. Hello?

OK...how is this news?

Perhaps the Brits are a little behind or something.

Just a joke!

No nasty e-mails from you Brits now!

Cough, Hack, Wow they fit!, hack, woah, I can't breath...

2007-03-05T18:59:00.000-08:00

Today my jeans fit. Well that's nothing unusual except that I grabbed by mistake my old jeans...you know the one's I grew out of? What a shocker! (And no, I didn't weigh. I didn't want to ruin my day. If the jeans are a mental illusion, I don't want to know...at least not today.)

So this change begs the question: what did I change? I raised my caloric intake to 1800. Man if all I have to do is eat more...I'm in!

On the gym front I went...and stayed for 15 minutes. I had to stop. I couldn't breathe. I went to my nemesis, the doctor, and I'm now on 4 different medications.

One refill for my inhaler
One refill for my nose stuff
Steroids
Antibiotics

I think that should cover everything. What do you think?

Oh...and no I don't hate my doctor in particular. I just have this little phobia.

Give me strength

2007-03-02T06:02:00.000-08:00

For the past few days I've had trouble staying focused. It's been about 2 months and with still no weight loss and my clothes getting nothing but tighter, I'm having trouble staying motivated. I am trying to make it to that 4-month marker. My husband's friend at work says that her Doctor told her when you simply change your lifestyle (yeah like there's anything simple about it) via nutrition and exercise, sometimes for some women it takes up to four months before the weight starts to come off.

But at times, like when my saboteur comes over, I want to just succumb. Succumbing to me means one of two things: Dropping my calories down to 1200 and starving myself to skinny or stuffing my face with crap. Last night, I stuffed my face with crap. And it was good... And you would think I'd feel better, but I don't. I feel worse.

So today I'm going to white knuckle it. I'm going to try to write out the negativity that's in me. I'm going to start my food day with my egg white oatmeal, move on to the gym, and carefully check everything I put into my mouth to make sure that I'm sticking to my plan of living well, not living skinny!

And hopefully by putting this down for the world to see, I will actually do it! God I hope so. Give me strength...

Don't you know flat is the new perfect physical specimen?

2007-02-28T06:56:00.000-08:00

Today I decided to check out how some of you ended up here reading my little blog. Here are the latest search’s:

1. Ch-ch-check
--out my rock hard pecs! Oh yeah. I know you’re jealous. Don’t you know flat is the new busty?

2. Kelly Day
--Isn’t ever day Kelly day. No? It should be.

3. Her new glasses site
--yeah, haven’t we’ve gone over this?

4. What muscles does skipping hit
--None. That’s my problem see? That’s why I’m at the gym 5 days a week!

5. After a workout face looks bloated
--Really? Mine just looks heart-attack red. If someone asks me if I’m OK one more time…

6. Rolly polly gym for birthdays
--That would be the perfect present. A gym where you work on being a rolly polly. I think I would be their fitness model.

7. How come I weigh more after I workout
--Damned if I know. Tina? Anyone? Anyone???

And then there are these:
1. Starving to be skinny, Starving to be slim, Starve month, Starve pounds, I starve, Starving for 7 days, Starve for a month, Why I starve, Starving 3 weeks
--OK, these aren’t really funny. They are actually a little disturbing. Don’t you guys know I’m not really starving? It’s a joke, and over dramatization because I’m pissed that I don’t get to eat like a teen-ager any more? Don’t you know this? Because please, really, don’t starve yourself. It’s just not good. Seriously—1200 calories for the ladies and 1800 for the men is the MINIMUM. Seriously.

And finally there is this one:
1. PERFECT PHYSICAL SPECIMEN
--Why thank you. Thank you very much. This brings a tear to my eye.

First, I’d like to thank my Mom who taught me about nutrition and then gave me my poor body image with her constant mentioning of my chicken legs.

Secondly, I’d like to thank my Dad who eats enough for 3 men for giving my bitterness that I cannot do the same.

Thirdly, I’d like to thank all of the nasty skinny be-atches out there who said nasty things to me that continues to spur me on.

And finally, I’d like to thank my friend Tina who keeps me strong by example.

No it's not beer googles. I'm totally sober.

2007-02-28T06:27:00.000-08:00

Two funny gym stories:
#1: OK, flirty receptionist guy and that one guy who lifts near us and now included us in his conversations? Yeah, it's the same guy. Tina swore it was. I swore it wasn't. And then she pointed out the tattoo on his calf. Yeah, it's the same guy. I really should wear my contacts ALL of the time!

#2: My friend Tina called this week. She had to go lift by herself Monday as I have a sick child at home. Flirty receptionist guy said to her, "Hey, did you used to be a trainer or a fitness model or something?"

Me: "Wow, he said that? That's awesome!"

Tina said laughing: "Yeah until he said 'used' to."

Me: "oh...."

Note #1: Tina still could be a fitness model. She looks totally awesome and has the most awesome arms and abs! She's at least my fitness model.

Note #2: Don't worry, I still managed to drag my sorry butt to the gym, at 5:30 AM 2 days in a row. I had to split up the weights, as I didn't have time to finish the first day. I don't know how those crazies keep that routine up!

I need a nap.

And a cure for shin splints, you know, besides rest. I'm afraid if I rest, my rest will become permanent. I'm so afraid I spent all last night on the computer looking for one site that would tell me that I could do something other than rest. There isn't one.

So today I did the bike and took an ibuprofen. I feel like though like a cop out. I'm the wimpy out of shape girl who can't even do a few miles on an elliptical machine without getting hurt.

Oh well, enough rambling and self-pity. Have a good one!

Bigger, Badder and Cheesier

2007-02-27T09:13:00.000-08:00

After having my last child I became obsessed with getting the baby weight off. I went vegetarian until I discovered my son's allergy to legumes, I did weight watcher's until I got sick of counting points, and I lastly counted calories. And anybody who diets knows, there are just some places where you have to guess what you're eating. Apparently these place are doing this on purpose and not only are they doing it on purpose, they are competing with other similar restaraunts for the "bigger, badder and cheesier" award in "appetizers, entrées and desserts." And that my friends, is how you end up with a 2000+ calorie meal when you think you're eating well.

Moral to the story? Cook for yourself.

Now I just have to learn how enjoy cooking.

Where are those take out menus?

Big WhineFest in Kellyland

2007-02-27T05:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Little C had the flu. This morning it looks like it's no better. And because my husband is seems to only be home to sleep these days, I got up at 5:15 to get to the gym before Big D had to leave for work.

And now I feel like I've been run over by a truck.

I'd love to go back to bed, but Little B will be up in 15 minutes to get ready for the bus. Then I'd like to go to bed, but I have to get myself dressed to get Little C to the doctor. Then I'll definitely go back to bed, but by then I'll have been up so long I might as well stay up!

I said to Big D as he walked out the door at 6:45, "Don't call in the afternoon because I'm definitely taking a nap." And do you know what he did?

He ROLLED HIS EYES at me.

Can you believe it? I think he's just jealous. Then he mumbled as he was walking out the door, "Why do you think I have to go to bed so early every night?" (He gets up at 4:45 every day to get his workout in.) Yeah...definitely jealous.

Yesterday the diet was crap. Little C had slept with me the night before and was restless the whole night. And of course I couldn't sleep because of it. Needless to say I was tired. And when I'm that tired, I tend to eat like crap. My only saving grace was that I couldn't leave the house, and I've managed to get rid of all of the junk in my house...except the popsicles in my freezer. MMMMMMMMM....popsicles. And no, they are not at least the healthy fruit kind. They are the sugar fake flavor kind that comes in plastic tubes. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I had three.

So you don't believe I ate like crap? Well here's the menu.
Bkfst.: Kashi bar
Lunch: Popcorn, 3 popsicles, tuna fish on trisquits
Dinner: Chick Fil A Sandwich plus 1/2 med. fries

Now that's some good eating!

This morning I'm starting out a little better. I started with a protein shake. Blech. But at least it's not a popsicle!

BTW...I weighed in this morning. I looked so skinny in the mirror (without my contacts in), I thought, "I think I've lost weight, finally!" Yeah, smack me now. I haven't lost any. I actually gained a pound. WOOHOO!!! Yay for me.

I really need to throw out that scale. Join me, will you?

I am a future M.I.L.F.

2007-02-26T05:48:00.000-08:00

I'm thinking about joining the Future M.I.L.F's over at Mom O Matic, but I won't be posting weight. I won't! I won't! I won't! I was thinking about weighing in, but if you've been reading long, you know that weight loss for me has been a dismal failure. If you have any doubts, well this morning I was up early and decided to weigh.

First Tip:
Never, never, never weigh on a Monday. Especially don’t if it's after your free day of pizza and wine. Yeah I know it sounds disgusting; I should have had beer. But wine sounded better. And yeah, wine with beer was disgusting. I should have had the beer. Now I have to wait for another full week before my next free day! I'll do it right this time. I promise!

Anyway, weighing on a Monday, baaaaaad. I am actually still at my all time high, and for those of you keeping track, I STILL HAVEN'T LOST A POUND!!! Actually for me, weighing period seems to be bad. I guess I need to finally break down and throw out that scale.

Another tip:
Taking your day off from the gym while you have a built in babysitter (i.e. Da Husband), BAD. Why? Well Little C is sick today. And sick child with a husband who generally is not home before the gym closes means no gym for Kelly. I really should have sucked it up and made it in Saturday. (I did make it in Sunday. I did 6 miles. Yeah it hurt. But it was better than the 9!)

I guess in general today is going to suck. I made the mistake of weighing in. And I can't make it to the gym to make myself feel better.

Yeah, suckity, suck, suck, suck!!!

So back to the decision.

Should I join the little Future M.I.L.F. club?

Well I already have, but I'll say it again,

"I AM NOT WEIGHING IN!!! I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!"

{I decided later that I didn't like the acronym M.I.L.F., so I think I'm just going to continue doing what I'm doing. Not to say that you can't be a M.I.L.F. if you don't want to. It's just not for me!;)}

{OK...I changed it back. I decided I need all the support I can get! So what if it comes from a group named after a gross acronym. Whatever! yeah, yeah, yeah I know! Talk about flip-flopping. }

9-miles

2007-02-22T08:28:00.000-08:00

I decided to see what Tina's 9-miles felt like.

Heck, if she can do it so can I...

cough...

cough...

hack...

NINE

cough...

hack...

FRIGGIN'

cough...

hack...

MILES.

sigh...

Stayin' Alive

2007-02-21T14:12:00.000-08:00

Press play.

I know you want to.

Come on...

Do it....

So I gagged down a protein shake today. I tried all of the tips...skim milk, Splenda, etc. I find that chugging it like a beer works the best for me. My daughter was very impressed and said, "Does it taste better when you drink it that fast?" Actually I couldn't taste it at all. Now I remember why I used to chug beer.

Anyway, I'm finding that I'm am absolutely crazy hungry between noon and 3. Yesterday after lunch I ate 1 blueberry oatmeal bar, 2 Kashi bars, and finally yes, I had some ice cream. The ice cream finally satisfied me. Thank goodness I prepared a light dinner ahead of time. For as you may or may not know, I'm never home in the evenings (my silly children have too many activities), and I probably would have blown the day with a weak drive through moment at dinner time if I hadn't gotten out my crock pot in the morning.

So today I didn't get the crock-pot out, and I gave into the hunger by having a humongous lunch. I have to say though, I'm finally not hungry. And after that shake, I don't know if I'll even be hungry for dinner. We'll see.

On the gym front: Flirty reception guy has not been there all week! But I think Tina and I have gotten some street credit from the regulars in Testosterzone as their witty repartee to each other has extended to us. Most of them apparently never do cardio, and they were very impressed with Tina's 9-mile run that she is doing tomorrow. Wow! We're becoming one of the guys.

Can you see my strut and my chest pumping up?

Well it's only muscle as my boobs are finally saying good-bye.

It's the curse of the flat girl.

One other thing...I STILL HAVE NOT LOST ONE POUND!

2344.5 Calories

2007-02-17T06:56:00.000-08:00

Yeah...that's a lot! More than I'm supposed to have in a day. I did work out, but I don't think that covers the extra 8-900 or so that I enjoyed. And boy did I enjoy it. I ate Valentine's truffles, ice cream, and fries. And they were good! But today I feel totally guilty. I'm wondering why yesterday of all days I blew it. I mean that was the point to me starting to write this stuff down, wasn't it? To figure out why I blow it when I blow it...

So let's see...yesterday I was feeling...happy? Yeah. I was feeling happy. I was excited about getting my new car. I was working on the re-decoration of my house. My husband was being nice. My kids were behaving. My friends were fun as usual. So what triggered it? Was it that I was happy? Is happiness my trigger? Do I not trust the happy? Boy. That's pretty messed up.

I think this study is going to have to be a wait and see thing. I'm pretty happy today. But I'm guilty about the food. So the happiness is tainted. I'll have to wait, I guess, for an un-tainted happy day to see what I do next.

Boy this becoming self-aware thing sure does bring up all of the dysfunction? Doesn't it?

I hate to waste food...

2007-02-16T11:39:00.000-08:00

By the way...I'm having to throw out a brand new jar of peanut butter! Does anyone know where I can send the lid to get a refund? I know I heard somewhere that you can get a refund, but I just can't remember where.

Thanks!

**Never Mind...I just found it at OkieDoke. Here it is for you...

To get a refund, consumers should send lids and their names and addresses to ConAgra Foods, P.O. Box 57078, Irvine, CA 92619-7078. Consumers with questions or concerns may call the 24-hour toll-free hotline at 866-344-6970 or log on to www.conagrafoods.com.

Chicken Legs

2007-02-16T10:42:00.000-08:00

I made it to the gym this morning. Yesterday I did a mile in 7 minutes, slowed down for a rest and my left lower leg started aching. After the 2nd mile I decided to switch to the treadmill because the pain was getting too bad, even after a good stretch. The treadmill did not improve. Who knew that a treadmill is harder on your legs than an elliptical machine?

OK...you can stop laughing now. I didn't know.

Anyway, I was telling Tina about the pain today while she was...KICKING MY ASS with these horrible lifting things called 21's. Heard of them? Yeah they suck! My arms are now like Jell-O. Anyway, I showed her where the pain was and that it still hurt, and she said they were shin splints.

I didn't know that you could get them down the outer side of your leg. I just thought they would be, you know, on top of the shin?

Ok...you experienced exercisers can really stop laughing at me now.

When I got home I looked up shin splints. I wanted to know what caused them. Here's what I found:

"A primary culprit causing shin splints is a sudden increase in distance or intensity of a workout schedule."

Ohhhhhhhh. I guess going from nothing to working out 4-5 times a week is probably what caused that. That and trying to run as fast as Tina who runs everyday and has for forever might have had a little of an impact as well.

Now I would like to say that I'm sad that I'm going to have to switch to the stationary bike for a while until I heal. But I'm not. And I'm also not going to tell you that I'm not doing cardio again until Monday because I have the perfect excuse now to be a slacker. Oooooops, I just did.

So what does Chicken Legs have to do with all of this? Well my Mother has chicken legs. And she passed them on to me. On top of that I tend to go a glowing-blinding shade of white in the winter, which makes my chicken legs even more obvious. When I was younger I used to get teased incessantly for these chicken legs. But apparently if I gain an extra 30 pounds, my chicken legs turn into hot "normal" looking legs that are just a little white, a fact that makes me very excited.

But yesterday as I stumbled off of the elliptical machine over to the treadmill I caught a look at my legs in the mirror. The chicken legs are back!

Crap!

Perhaps this complete lack of muscle has something to do with the shin splints as well.

Yeah, probably.

Thanks Man!

2007-02-15T17:25:00.000-08:00

I went to my stat counter today to check things out. This action is very odd for me because I think I've checked my stats for this blog maybe once. Anyway, today I noticed that they had jumped up...a lot! I said to myself, "What is going on?" So I checked to see where they were coming from. Here's the link.

Wow! And thanks Sarah for the kind words. And thanks for motivating me to keep, well, Starving Kelly.

Everybody Wants Me

2007-02-14T18:13:00.000-08:00

Today I wandered into the gym, and after I flashed my badge the young guy at the front counter along with his usual, "Good morning," and "Have a good workout," said to me, "Hey! What are you doing here this morning? Don't you usually lift in the afternoon?"

I was so stunned that he even knew who I was or what I did with my time. Now in retrospect my name and when I work out probably popped up on his screen when I flashed my card, but initially I was deluded and proud. Because apparently, all of the time that I am spending at the gym was being noticed. So what if it was by a stranger.

I was telling my friend Tina about what this guy said, and she said in a slightly seductive voice, "Yeah, that's good. He noticed you."

Now that thought, I have to tell you, never occurred to me. I said, "Yeah right. He's probably thinking, 'hey, there's that fat chick that lifts with the hot one.'"

Tina replied laughing, "No, he's probably thinking, 'there's that chick that lifts with that 50-footer.' I used to be a 15-footer, but in the last few months I've aged so much I think it's now a 50-footer."

We, the fat girl and the 50-footer, laughed for quite a while about this.

Anyway, I don't care how he knew that I worked out mostly in the afternoons. For you see today, I did 3 miles in 26 minutes. This is a new record for me. And if I have to get a little ego pump up to get there, then so be it. Let the stroking continue!

Yeah, I blew my diet this weekend while out of town. Who the hell cares?

2007-02-12T13:00:00.000-08:00

I've been out of town, and I'm busy, and I'm frustrated with my body, and apparently I'm full of excuses why I haven't been here lately. I think my bad attitude started last week. I have been working out fairly hard at the gym lately. I'm lifting a couple of times a week and I've been fighting with my nemesis, cardio, 3 or 4 times a week. I even was able to get to 3 miles in 30 minutes on the elliptical machine, my all time record. And because I've been at the gym so often I've become used to myself in almost no makeup and have been wearing nothing but sweats around. But one day last week on the elliptical machine, I looked at the mirrors and noticed that my body has changed. It's not anything that probably anybody else would notice, but my body has changed. And I was excited.

So that morning after my workout I decided to get dressed in something other than sweats. I get home after my workout, and hit the shower. I was feeling so confident I decided to weigh myself. Son of a...!

I'm still at my all time high!

Oh well...I look different. And, muscle does supposedly weigh more than fat.

So I take my shower, and pull out a pair of jeans. The jeans are too tight. So I pull out another pair, my "big girl" pair. They are too tight. I try on every pair of button-up pants I own. THEY ARE ALL TOO TIGHT!!!! Son of a Bitch!!! I have to go jean shopping!

Needless to say I did. And it sucked. And I had to buy a size larger than normal.

I told my friend Tina this story and she got this puzzled look on her face and said, "Just don't quit. This is exactly the time that most people quit, and I swear the weight will start coming off. You are doing so well. I'm so impressed with how much you're doing. Just don't quit!"

And I won't. I just can't help but wondering if it ever is going to come off. I keep looking at the picture of myself the last time I worked out this hard. It did it for 4 months. And ironically I was the biggest I'd ever been...until now.

Ch, ch, check, check, check it out!

2007-02-02T10:34:00.000-08:00

Have you guys noticed the section called "Starving Kelly's Picks?" You should check it out. It's other bloggers or writer's opinions, etc. about health, nutrition, exercise, dieting, etc. Everytime I come across something I find interesting I'll add it. Enjoy.

Day what?

2007-02-02T10:23:00.000-08:00

I haven't any idea what I'm on because really I never got back on the plan after I stopped. Typical. I'm not being a glutton though. I've given up my wine (except on my b-day), and am now eating my lean cuisine with a soymilk chaser. It's all right.

I have continued to hit the gym pretty regularly. My friend has been helping me with the strength training, which I love, and I've been sore pretty much every day since I started 3 weeks ago, or was it 4? I can't remember. And yesterday I did 6 miles on the bike/elliptical machine/treadmill. What can I say; I get bored and have to break it up. I can still say with certainty, even though I've been at this 3 or 4 weeks now, I HATE cardio! Must do it though. Must get that heart strong and the fat off.

Speaking of Fat coming off. It's not. At least the scale says it's not. And my clothes don't seem to be any looser. In fact, the scale says I'm not heavier. Tina says that it's pretty common to see a gain when you start a new program. She says that most runners she knows, in fact, when training for the marathon, a period where you burn more calories than ever, gain 5-10 pounds.

I wouldn't really mind the gain if I saw a difference in my clothes. But I don't. The only thing that's keeping me going is the soreness of my muscles. Surely soreness means something is happening. Doesn't it? God I hope so. It's all I've got.

Not starving today...It's my birthday!

2007-01-28T08:17:00.000-08:00

Pancakes...

A glass of milk...

Does it get any better than this?

Day 14

2007-01-21T14:17:00.000-08:00

So on Wednesday last week I got sick. Really sick. Well sick enough to forgo the diet and the gym. So yesterday was the first day I felt well. So off to the gym I go, tomorrow. I'm thinking about starting a new routine. But more about that tomorrow. But today I'll get back to the diet...

Day 14: Hit the Drive-through. Yeah, like I could with the ice. Actually Friday night I went. And I didn't get something healthy. Most of the time I do though. I usually get the kids meal. Or I get salad. Or something...healthier. But Friday I was still not great and I was weak and got chicken strips. (Kind of like what's in the picture only they didn't look as good, and I still ate them.)

And they were good.

And they were worth it.

Until I weighed myself today.

I AM AT MY ALL TIME HIGH!

EVER!!!!!

So in summary, I have now gained 20 pounds in 6 months. Explain that to me? 20 pounds in 6 months. I feel like screaming. Christ. No wonder my fat jeans were tight on me yesterday.

So today...I've eaten one bowl of soup, a fiberone bar, and a banana. In a complete state of panic I've eaten almost nothing. Who knows what I'm having for dinner. Probably some more soup or a boiled egg with raw carrots or something. I'm so flustered by this gain that I can't even think.

So I go to my husband today, who started his little routine the same time as I did, and asked him how much he had lost. Yeah...I was itchin' for a fight after that weigh-in. He's lost, of course, 4 pounds in two weeks. What has he done? Gave up beer and started exercising 5 days a week. (Woooooweeeee. Like I don't already to that.) And he had to admit that he really hasn't done much as far as the food is concerned. (And for those of you out there he eats only brown food...yeah that's right. I said it. Only brown.)WHAT?!?!?

Hey all you men out there.

YOU SUCK!!!!!

Photo courtesy of PDPhoto.org.

Day 13

2007-01-14T20:09:00.000-08:00

Eat more beans: So we've been hit by an ice storm and have been trapped in the house for 3 days. I think tomorrow will be the same. So I had an idea for today...chili! Thank goodness I had some chili beans to fulfill this goal. If you think about it, Chili really is one of the perfect meals. You have lean meat, tomatoes, onions, vegetable juice, and last but not least, beans. If you add a little low-fat cheese and eat it with a few saltines, you have every food group covered. And besides that, YUM!!!

In recent years, however, I have not cooked with beans. Don't get me wrong. I love them. In fact the first year my son was alive I went vegetarian. And believe you me; I had a lot of beans. But then I discovered that my son was allergic to legumes, i.e. beans. That kind of killed the plan for me. Anyone who has children knows that it's a ridiculous concept to prepare two separate meals for every meal. So, back to meat I went. When I eat out, I do try to go vegetarian though. But at home, I have to go with meat.

But today with the cold and ice the idea of Chili seemed to take the edge off and fit today's requirement perfectly. And my son? Well he had leftovers from the night before. I guess it's not impossible to get a few beans.

Exercise: So iced in and the gym is closed. CRIPES! I decided to try to shovel the driveway to get some cardio in. However a couple of inches of solid ice really doesn't shovel to well, or crack, or hold me in a standing position. As I was sliding towards the street seemingly unable to stop I realized these facts.

Hopefully the gym will be open tomorrow. I can't imagine the exercise fanatics out there letting the gym get away with more than 3 days of closure. We'll see...

Day 11 and 12

2007-01-13T09:46:00.000-08:00

Day 11: Put salad in your sandwich: Already do this. I LOVE tons of veggies on my sandwiches. But I don't really eat that many sandwiches because I've gotten totally spoiled by the awesome bread that I get a local bakery. Any other bread and the sandwich to me is totally sub-par.

Day 12: Fill up on Fresh Stuff: OK, OK, OK...I'll try to find some veggies for lunch today. Actually I was thinking of making broccoli/beef for lunch. And broccoli is one of the best. And then maybe I'll have an apple for dessert. See...not so hard!

Exercise: So I'm iced into my house right now. I'd try to venture out, but everywhere I've called is closed! Perhaps the kids want to slip/slide around with me. I'm kind of panicked because I had to skip the big gym workout yesterday (heavy weight with my friend/cardio) because school was cancelled because of the weather. I knew, I knew, I knew when my husband showed up yesterday at 4 (his office closed) I should have drug myself on over to the gym. But I thought I'd do it in the morning. This morning...yeah the morning that everything closed because of the ice storm! Sound like a big whiner full of excuses don't I?

I'm a little worried to lose my rhythm concerning exercising though because in the past a two day break is all that it would have taken to get me to stop exercising...period. Perhaps now that I know that that is my pattern...I won't do it.

On a more positive note...I haven't weighed, but I'm losing that bloated look which usually means I'm losing weight. The bloated look is usually the sign that I've gone over the eating edge. Now...I just have to drop a size!

Day 9 and 10

2007-01-11T14:21:00.000-08:00

Day 9: Order soup and salad
Day 10: Pump up the protein

I did day 9 on day 10 and 10 on 9. Well actually I already do 10. I find that I stay full longer if I do 10, and so I have...for a long time.

Actually I've lost no weight so far and seem to be plumping up in my clothes. Of course, that's what always happens every time I start a new exercise program...I gain 5 pounds. I thought this time though, because I'm dieting, that I would just stay the same for a while. I'm a little too scared to get on the scale, but I can tell I'm bigger by the way the clothes are fitting me. ERRRRR I hate this part! Hopefully I can keep myself from quitting.

Stay away damn mirrors!

2007-01-09T14:30:00.000-08:00

Day 8: Brown-bag your lunch...done! And this one was hard as I was exhausted by lunch time and really wanted to go out. I know that eating out is a problem I have as I hate to prepare food for myself. I'll be working on this task daily.

So when I signed up for the gym I got this brilliant idea to blend days together. Today was my big day. I did my cardio, weights, and then went to a yoga/pilates class for a stretch. Every muscle on my body hurts...including my FEET! I certainly won't be doing that again. I'm going to have to come up with a better solution.

On a side note. The Pilates/Yoga class's room was almost entirely covered with mirrors. Now I know that I am incredibly out of shape and am over-weight, but looking at yourself in every direction really brings that home. For some reason when I work-out and can't see myself I feel better after the workout. When I see myself the entire time I get discouraged as it seems like it's going to take so long to get to the point of a healthy looking body. It seems like almost an impossible task to complete. I'm thinking that perhaps I need to stay out of that room until I get to the point where I'm not totally dismayed and shocked every time I look into a mirror. What that point is I don't know. And I feel a little bad because I promised a friend I'd do that class with her. Perhaps I'll try it one more time. If I have the same reaction then I'm definitely going to have to forgo the classes for a while.

Happy De-lurking Week

2007-01-08T18:23:00.000-08:00

Per Paper Napkin it's De-lurking Week through January 12th in our little blogger world. So what do you think? Should you end your commenting fast? Should you break through the lurker/non-commenter anti-finger exercising barrier? Should you leave an actual comment?

If you do, I'll spread the love as well! And I promise. It will all be with minimal caloric intake and maximum burn!

Come on, you know you want to!

Nemesis

2007-01-08T13:06:00.000-08:00

There's a big debate going on in my head today. To go to the gym or not to go. Today I designated as my day off. But now I'm feeling the need to go. I think it is because I'm a totally compulsive personality. When I start something I go at it full force. My fear about not going today is the second part of my personality will kick in. It's called the "if I don't keep going a hundred of miles per hour at this task and take a break from it, I'm going to have too much trouble at getting it going again tomorrow" trait. What usually happens is that I eventually quit because I have either burnt myself out or my nat like attention span causes me to get bored and I quit.

Here's a little story. When I was 5 I desperately wanted a Baby Alive doll. So, my Mom made a chart and told me that if I made my bed every day for a week she'd take me to the store to get the doll. So, day one...no problem, I made the bed. Day two...made the bed. Day three my Mom came into my room and said, "Kelly! You didn't make your bed. Don't you want your doll?" I replied, "It's too much work."

See what I'm talking about? I quit things at the drop of the hat. With the weight and exercising issues what usually happens is that I see a drop or an improvement in my stature and that's it, I'm done. I never reach my goal! So now, I'm afraid that if I take a day off today, I'm going to see a weight loss or something on my scale tomorrow, and I'm not going to be able to make myself go to the gym even though I'm meeting 3 friends there!

What a nemesis this lazy streak is. I hope to soon be able to get past it!

Day 4, 5, 6, and 7 in the Testoterzone

2007-01-07T10:38:00.000-08:00

Day 4: Pick hearty grains...already do this...EASY!!!

Day 5: Crack some eggs...no problem...Easy!

Day 6: Do lunch at breakfast...good, I have left-over chili. Was a little hard to eat in the A.M.

Day 7: Sleep In: Well it's really for tomorrow, but I did it today. It is Sunday after all! Monday's would be just a little impossible to sleep in.

In the workout arena: I joined a gym this week. I've been talking about joining for a year now and have finally done it. I went yesterday at 8am, and all I have to say is this. If you want to see a bunch a middle-aged men sporting around the testosterzone area of the gym, Saturday at 8a.m. is your time to go! I had to look down on the eliptical machine at my feet because I was trying not to laugh. Good thing I was alone as a friend looking with me would have caused my utter collapse. You men at the gym...so funny!;)

Today I'm supposed to meet my ex-trainer friend at the gym. She's going to show me how to work all of the equipment in testosterzone. I guess that area could use a little estrogen!

Wish me luck!

Days 2 and 3

2007-01-04T06:52:00.000-08:00

Day 2: Breakfast on Veggies: So I added veggies to breakfast, specifically sweet potatoes. They were good, but I found that that with the eggs they seemed to increase my appetite. It was either that or my time on the elliptical this morning got my metabolism going. So, I only did OK yesterday. I had a little stint with the last of the Christmas candy. I knew I should have thrown it out!

Day 3: Cut back on sugar: Well now that all of the Christmas candy is gone...shouldn't be a problem. I don't really eat sugar much. Just not my thing. I think I'm going to go back to the first days as well and have a huge breakfast. I'm really hungry this morning!!!